a few hours ago, my friend and i were discussing about our respective i.Ph blogs. then out of of the blue she noted that i rarely write about things with a personal slant.
"what do you mean?" i protested. "of course i have written several 'personal' posts — at least 2 or 3 of them. and it wasn't easy, mind you."
it was only when i was alone with my thoughts that i realized she does have a valid point. yes, i do write about things as they affect me personally, but i have never felt comfortable with the idea of wrestling with deeply personal issues online. i don't think i ever will, although…
yes, i think i have something personal to thrash out (i'll probably regret this later, but what the hey). no, it's not a vengeful rant. it's a belated apology to my parents. i got this idea from a forum that i had lately joined, and the question was "What would you say to your parents ?" (living or passed away)
so many things… but most of all i just want to say "i'm sorry" for the things i've done and haven't done. i know we were never the sort of family that finds it easy to say "i love you" or "sorry". and all this time i thought there was really no need to say the words. that is, until i got older and realized how much we needed to settle issues that should have been acknowledged or addressed sooner. and each time i pause and think and struggle to find the right words, it gets worse.
i'm not going to hide behind a convenient excuse ("too busy", "i just can't relate to this"). i know i could have (and should have) done better. i have been waiting all along for the right time to say this, but i guess there is no RIGHT time. i just needed to say it.
i'm sorry.
Like you, Onyxx, I’m not the kind of daughter who’s expressive and I thought I got it from my parents. But then maybe they’re not to blame really because our bunsos (third and fourth siblings) are quite open and sweet.
I like your post, though. Reminded me there’s still a lot I have to work on.
this is one of the hardest pieces i’ve had to write yet (i had to take a long break afterwards). in fact, i’m not even sure why i posted this. i am already half-regretting that decision. i might delete this post later, but thanks for the comments guys
Posted by onyxx at February 8, 2007, 11:33 amWhat are you talking about? This is a nice entry. Showing your emotions doesn’t make you a lesser man. Always remember “Boys don’t cry, Men do!”
Posted by alvin at February 8, 2007, 3:41 pmyeah it’s really difficult to write about personal stuff/sharing your life story with total strangers/baring your heart for all the world to see and then reading idiotic comments about it like this one 
but others(sometimes the writers or the readers) find it therapeutic so there
You’re right about that raine. As you click “publish” (with the thought you can delete posts anyway), somebody who may chance upon what you have written could be a person who may have a similar story, one way or another.
At the end of the day, we may be anonymous, we may be unlikely friends in real life, but as long as we get something good out of reading each other’s blog, we’re alright. Sort of reaffirms the fact that we’re connected; we’re not alone
another lost soul hopelessly adrift in the confines of blogosphere
we welcome stray visitors, random clickers, curious cats, bored travelers, truants, kind-hearted reviewers and administrators, bleeding hearts, and all sorts of flotsam and jetsam that clog the blogosphere. read on and share what you feel!
heheee..
penuh…
hahaaaa…
mantap deh..
the best deh pkk ny
pst bnyk nie..
gk ada yg ganggu
enk..
jgn malu2
ksh tau ya
kl udh
udh bnyk blm
utk pimnas
ayo pimnas….
pimnas..
ayoo…
hahaaa…
antri ya..
mau ikutan gk?
ada garapan..
I’m so proud of you man! This is one thing my friends and I really believe in the most - we always say I Love You to each other and to our parents all the time!
Posted by alvin at February 7, 2007, 11:26 pmIt’s not too late… never will be.