living on your own

Living on your own in the city for the first time, miles away from your family, can be both a blessing and a curse. 

True, college life provides a sort of dress rehearsal for the chaos and challenge of the rat race, but nothing ever prepares you for the combination of thrill, trepidation and guarded optimism when you set out to explore a strange alley that looks vaguely threatening and tantalizing at the same time.

Setting up shop in a new city that may well serve — depending on your luck — as your temporary or lifetime quarters can be a daunting prospect. But when you’re in your 20s you don’t let small things (or sometimes even big ones) bother you. At least, not much. You know there are bound to be some problems along the way, but hey what’s life without a few complications right?

I think that what feeds your enthusiasm to move to a different place, away from your family and friends and all that’s familiar, is the chance to start a new identity (figuratively speaking) or at least to improve on your old one. If there’s no one around to remind you of past transgressions and why you can/can’t do this and that, chances are you’ll be more open to possibilities. 

Unsaddling past baggage from one’s load is sometimes all the catalyst one needs in order to indulge in a bout of creativity and initiative. In effect, you are drawing up your own Constitution — you are both the monarch and the servant of your own little kingdom. And the best thing about it is if you violated your own laws, you can either ignore it or at least amend some provisions to suit your own convenience.  

And being the sovereign ruler (and sole occupant) of your territory means you get to take care of a few things on your own, or else the kingdom will fall apart.

1. Treasury — This department takes the biggest slice of the pie. After establishing your boundaries, you need to propose, pass and enforce a budget to make sure that your palace is in good order (in most cases, an apartment). You need to have gold in your hoard to support your lifestyle (clothes, food, transportation) and to live with some measure of security (insurance). Otherwise, you’re toast.

2. Housekeeping — Since there’s no else around to lend you things or a few bucks to tide you over until your next paycheck, it’s in your best interest to ensure that the basics are covered (rent, utilities, groceries, etc.).

3. Territorial Defense — There’s no sense in inviting trouble, especially while you’re in the process of establishing your borders. Invest in good locks, avoid risky areas, and be alert. And oh, it would help if you could stay in constant touch with a friend or a family member, you know just in case the cops or the insurance guys need to confirm your identity or something (*just kidding*).

4. Research and Development — The potential for future expansion should also be considered. If you’re planning to plunk some of your hard-earned money on some choice items (down payment for a car/house, 50-in plasma TV, a diamond necklace), you could start saving for them right now. Better yet, start investing your money wisely.

5. Foreign Affairs — Like all fledgling empires, the prudent policy for you is to be on friendly terms with those around you. Be a good neighbor (at home or at the office). Believe me, it helps. And while you’re alone in a strange city, you need all the help you can get.

6. Arts, Culture & Entertainment — At this stage, this should be the last of your priorities, but again depending on your resources, an occasional night out or indulging a hobby, as long as it’s not too prohibitively pricey, wouldn’t hurt.

Of course, living far away from home has its downside, too (chiefly, the risks involved and the feeling of isolation). Still, these are things that can be coped with in time, at your own pace.

Staying at the place where you were born and bred can be a good option for some. That is, if you don’t mind the occasional bout of interference from well-meaning folks. Plus, it can be a bit of a challenge to convince your neighbors or relatives (especially the older ones) that you’re no longer the same snot-nosed, clumsy kid who used to say and do the most embarrassing things! And heaven help you if you have a pile of those mortifying (laughter-inducing) incidents rattling around your closet! ugghh!!